Scythian Fury

AoE:CS Poetry Corner

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I'll visit your castle........and you'll visit mine

Playing this game, how we spend the time

 

You load up your troops and spend your food

Take different heroes depending on your mood

 

Do it right and crowns can be won

For many the game is never done

 

Lunch time, Night time......all day for some

We poke at each other and have some fun

 

We meet new friends and find some foes

We listen about the awful battles and tails of woe

 

Some get upset, complain and take it as real

They ruin the fun...What the heII is their deal?

 

Rivals become friends, teammates disappear

There is no face or a voice to hear

 

We may be strangers....but are we really?

One day a CS reunion for all ideally :D

 

 

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I saw some folks post some non-game related poetry here and it gave me an idea to start a Poetry Corner thread on the Off-Topic forum, please feel free to post your verse about any other topic other than AoE:CS there. :D[thumbup]  A big thanks goes to @Wicked Wulf for helping me move some stuff around. Much Love, Wulf, for all your hard work, I owe you a poem.[love]

This haiku was one of my first posts on this thread, but it became a casualty of the move, so I'm re-posting it here (for those who found it too obscure, it is about the dreaded Turtle defense and follows the proper 5-7-5 form in Japanese, as well as, includes an implied Kireji -ka in the first line):

の顔
安全だと思う
塔の影で

Kame no kao

anzenda to omou

tō no kage de

The Turtle's face
Thinks it is safe
In the tower's shadow

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Years pass and still the same
Conrad in our mix, some things never change
Fighting for crowns and the devs' gain
Worsen your life, justify our pain
The end is knocking
The end is knocking

[Chorus:]
We've all been using Conrad for most of our AoE:CS life
(Conrad for most of our AoE:CS life)
Everywhere we turn more rams surround us
And yet we preach about which attack is wrong or right
(which attack is wrong or right)
Just to get some extra likes in this forum site

How many crowns will we take
How many keeps destined to break
Nowhere to run, can't escape
Full of ourselves, tied to Conrad, our mate
The end is knocking
The end is knocking, yeah

[Chorus]

With peace of mind so hard to find
We creep up the LBs, without putting up a fight
Another way to numb our mind
And as you close your eyes tonight
and pray for a defensive win
you'll see your crowns flying helplessly away

[Chorus]

 

 

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Ode to _______?

 

Back on the boards

He makes others sore

He’s been around a long time & he aces the score

 

He makes his rounds

Takes your stone hanging around

Look in your log, he’s been on your grounds

 

Your towers are no match

His troops & trebs you can’t catch

Useless are the plans you hatch

 

He gets into your mind

Raids anything he can find

There are a few of his kind

 

He is your worst fear

Leaves tissues for your tears

He’s been at this for years

 

Pour a shot and give it a toss

You’d do well to love the loss

Forget revenge, he is the BOSS

 

Now I just rhymed his game

There are no others the same

He plays hard and can’t be tamed

 

Wouldn’t you like to know his name?

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27 minutes ago, Wicked Wulf said:

 

 

Ode to _______?

 

Back on the boards

He makes others sore

He’s been around a long time & he aces the score

 

He makes his rounds

Takes your stone hanging around

Look in your log, he’s been on your grounds

 

Your towers are no match

His troops & trebs you can’t catch

Useless are the plans you hatch

 

He gets into your mind

Raids anything he can find

There are a few of his kind

 

He is your worst fear

Leaves tissues for your tears

He’s been at this for years

 

Pour a shot and give it a toss

You’d do well to love the loss

Forget revenge, he is the BOSS

 

Now I just rhymed his game

There are no others the same

He plays hard and can’t be tamed

 

Wouldn’t you like to know his name?

No [tongue]

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The Stakeout.

(aka The Stalker)

Day 1: Began the new assignment from the Siege HQ, the name of the target is Playerxxxxxxxxxx, low-life looter with a Napoleon Complex, fancies himself 'the Emperor of his Castle'. Mission objective: catch the subject in an unguarded moment and terminate with extreme prejudice. Day's activity: Spent 8 hours clicking the 'revenge' button to no avail, will continue the surveillance tomorrow.

Day 2: The subject continues to elude me, when clicking the 'revenge' button I either get a message saying 'Player is currently under Peace treaty' or 'Player is currently Online', it is very frustrating. Day's activity: Proceeded as on the day previous with the same result, will resume surveillance tomorrow.

Day 3: I am beginning to suspect that the subject is cheating, it is not humanly possible to stay online for this many hours and then have the luck of getting a long PT right away. Got to be using some sort of device, or something. I posted a complaint about it on the CS forum and was waiting for a response from the management when I was interrupted by the Old Woman Who Says It's Her House (aka Mom) who told me I can either clean my room now, or move out of her basement for good. Spent the rest of the day cleaning the place and did not have the time to check the forum for a response.

CC Addendum to tomorrow's To Do list: Spend 1-2 hours making phone calls in full view of OWWSIHH looking for a job (this usually helps to get her of my back for another week or two).

Day 4: Checked the CS forum first thing after waking up for the expected response from the management and instead got a bunch of very sarcastic replies (I believe the proper term is Trolling) from other forum members many of whom claimed to be CS experts. Many responses were very insulting (the words 'whiner' and 'whining', among others, were used by many of them) and telling me that difficult revenges are all part of the game, and I need to learn how to play, etc. (I think some of these people have been playing so long that they have become very jaded and bitter, and probably got all their crowns the same way as the subject, by cheating). There were a few useful suggestions that I managed to glean from between all the insults and I was about to try them out when Uncle Kevin showed up telling me that the OWWSIHH and him have decided that, starting immediately, I am working for him at his Plumbing Service (who do these people think they are, telling me what to do, I am a grown man!). Spent the rest of the day cleaning out a septic tank and was too tired and disgusted to continue surveillance afterward. Will attempt to do so tomorrow.

Day 5: Finally managed to get back online during my lunch break and tried out some of the suggestions I got from the forum, checked the subject's attack logs and noticed a pattern in his attack schedule. Was, again, too tired to continue after work, but will do so tomorrow.

P.S. Lori called, saying that she is thinking about breaking up with me, b/c “since I started playing that stupid game I don't spend enough time with her”.

CC Addendum to the To Do list: Spend some time with the Old Ball and Chain over the weekend.

Day 6: Almost manged to catch the subject offline during lunch. I kept checking his 'Last Log In' on his alliance page and started clicking the 'Revenge' button right before the 15 minutes expired, but had to urgently use the bathroom and when I got back he was again on a 12+ hour PT. This game must be rigged some way to favor paying players. Considered complaining to the CS management again about the terrible unfairness of this policy, but decided that probably all I was going to get back from the forum is more sarcastic insults from the Jaded Cheaters. Will continue surveillance tomorrow.

Day 7: Success!!!! Mission Completed!!!! I finally caught the cheating ba****d offline and got a 1 star win from him, 58 crowns, a personal best!!! Posted a 'Retry' of my mission success in my alliance chat, 20 minutes later one of the noobs got 100% on my 'Retry' (he is definitely one of these cheaters, he is 2 ages below me and got almost 3 times my crowns),

P.S. Lori broke up with me, said that she is now dating this guy Tod who “pays the kind of attention to her a lady deserves”, he sounds like a real tool. I think I just found my next mission.

Day 1: Mission Target: A girlfriend stealing tool called Tod, fancies himself to be a regular 'Ladies Man'...

This is a poetic form called 'a very short story'.

Edited by Scythian Fury

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Tod.

 

He is a real whiney guy

Life's great questions on his lips

enthusiasm to the hilt and a sparkle in his eye

through all the suffering we saw, his quiver always full of quifs

Yeah, we all hated 'ol Tod and his never ending gob

saved my life more than once

he did a really great job

we really thought the guy was a bit dunce

 

Turns out 'ol Tod is a hero

some day I'll see Tod in the ever after

having taken his place with the greats like Nero

and I'll say shut the f***k up Tod to a sea of endearing laughter.

 

- in memory of the greatest douche bag that ever lived. love you bro!

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4 hours ago, Scythian Fury said:

The Stakeout.

(aka The Stalker)

Day 1: Began the new assignment from the Siege HQ, the name of the target is Playerxxxxxxxxxx, low-life looter with a Napoleon Complex, fancies himself 'the Emperor of his Castle'. Mission objective: catch the subject in an unguarded moment and terminate with extreme prejudice. Day's activity: Spent 8 hours clicking the 'revenge' button to no avail, will continue the surveillance tomorrow.

Day 2: The subject continues to elude me, when clicking the 'revenge' button I either get a message saying 'Player is currently under Peace treaty' or 'Player is currently Online', it is very frustrating. Day's activity: Proceeded as on the day previous with the same result, will resume surveillance tomorrow.

Day 3: I am beginning to suspect that the subject is cheating, it is not humanly possible to stay online for this many hours and then have the luck of getting a long PT right away. Got to be using some sort of device, or something. I posted a complaint about it on the CS forum and was waiting for a response from the management when I was interrupted by the Old Woman Who Says It's Her House (aka Mom) who told me I can either clean my room now, or move out of her basement for good. Spent the rest of the day cleaning the place and did not have the time to check the forum for a response.

CC Addendum to tomorrow's To Do list: Spend 1-2 hours making phone calls in full view of OWWSIHH looking for a job (this usually helps to get her of my back for another week or two).

Day 4: Checked the CS forum first thing after waking up for the expected response from the management and instead got a bunch of very sarcastic replies (I believe the proper term is Trolling) from other forum members many of whom claimed to be CS experts. Many responses were very insulting (the words 'whiner' and 'whining', among others, were used by many of them) and telling me that difficult revenges are all part of the game, and I need to learn how to play, etc. (I think some of these people have been playing so long that they have become very jaded and bitter, and probably got all their crowns the same way as the subject, by cheating). There were a few useful suggestions that I managed to glean from between all the insults and I was about to try them out when Uncle Kevin showed up telling me that the OWWSIHH and him have decided that, starting immediately, I am working for him at his Plumbing Service (who do these people think they are, telling me what to do, I am a grown man!). Spent the rest of the day cleaning out a septic tank and was too tired and disgusted to continue surveillance afterward. Will attempt to do so tomorrow.

Day 5: Finally managed to get back online during my lunch break and tried out some of the suggestions I got from the forum, checked the subject's attack logs and noticed a pattern in his attack schedule. Was, again, too tired to continue after work, but will do so tomorrow.

P.S. Lori called, saying that she is thinking about breaking up with me, b/c “since I started playing that stupid game I don't spend enough time with her”.

CC Addendum to the To Do list: Spend some time with the Old Ball and Chain over the weekend.

Day 6: Almost manged to catch the subject offline during lunch. I kept checking his 'Last Log In' on his alliance page and started clicking the 'Revenge' button right before the 15 minutes expired, but had to urgently use the bathroom and when I got back he was again on a 12+ hour PT. This game must be rigged some way to favor paying players. Considered complaining to the CS management again about the terrible unfairness of this policy, but decided that probably all I was going to get back from the forum is more sarcastic insults from the Jaded Cheaters. Will continue surveillance tomorrow.

Day 7: Success!!!! Mission Completed!!!! I finally caught the cheating ba****d offline and got a 1 star win from him, 58 crowns, a personal best!!! Posted a 'Retry' of my mission success in my alliance chat, 20 minutes later one of the noobs got 100% on my 'Retry' (he is definitely one of these cheaters, he is 2 ages below me and got almost 3 times my crowns),

P.S. Lori broke up with me, said that she is now dating this guy Tod who “pays the kind of attention to her a lady deserves”, he sounds like a real tool. I think I just found my next mission.

Day 1: Mission Target: A girlfriend stealing tool called Tod, fancies himself to be a regular 'Ladies Man'...

This is a poetic form called 'a very short story'.

I was actually shocked by the report. If it's a true story, then your life's been as bad as mine, lol. :'D

 

P.S.: lost a revenge to use the bathroom??? Real siegers shall wear DIAPERS if needed, boy!!! >:V #JustKidding

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